Monday, May 11, 2009

11 Games

[Please read aloud and DON'T SKIP AHEAD as it will ruin some of the games.]

Thanks for helping us fulfill our bet! It began as a sports competition with $10 stakes. After quite a bit of alcohol, goading from a few female friends and even more alcohol we decided the loser would have to strip... for you!

As he stands there clothed look at him. Giggle at him. Imagine how he'll look naked. Is he well-endowed? We're not sure, but we're pretty sure we're embarrassing him by wondering about it.

And don't feel sorry for him. If one of us would've lost he'd be just as ruthless.

The games we created should entertain you, and embarrass him. They'll work whether you want to be naughty or nice. In addition, you may know that our naked bet loser must perform these indignities on three occasions before he has paid up his bet.

In order that each lady tries her hardest to embarrass him, we've therefore designed a competition. Each game can earn you points, and whichever woman earns the most points will receive a $100 prize for her victory.

Okay, let's get things started with a toast -- to a woman without which this bet would be impossible. If high stakes creative gambling, the consumption of alcohol and novel bets among friends help us to enjoy life – and they do – we salute those women whose sense of humor helps make it happen. Cheers. Epic bets like ours would be impossible without fun-loving people like you.

Game #1: “You’ve Been a Bad Bad Bet Loser

Our first game is an ice breaker.

Here’s how to play: the still clothed bet loser will approach, and you'll spank him 9 times -- 3 times as he stands, 3 times on all fours, and 3 times bent over your lap like a misbehaving child. You’d better do it hard or he’ll never learn his lesson. (Each spank is worth one point -- and if you do them all youget 10 points.)

Game # 2: “Introducing the Sticker Game” (15 points)

Our second ice breaker is a sticky affair.

You've got to leave the room briefly for this one. Your stripper should place 5 stickers on the inside of his clothing, split between his shirt and pants.

After the stickers are placed you should return blindfolded and attempt to find the stickers without peeking or removing any clothing.

Game #3: “Guessing Games”

Okay, we have a question: do you think your stripper is hung like a horse or a hamster?

It’s time to hazard a guess.

In this game your still clothed stripper will remain clothed while you write on a piece of paper your best guess as to his length, his girth, and whether or not he can touch his penis to his belly button.

But it isn’t quite fair to make you guess without knowing anything, is it?

That’s why we’re giving you permission to investigate. You have 90 seconds blindfolded. If you're timid, you can simply write your guess without ever touching him. But the adventurous have permission to make an educated guess (and there's a 50 point bonus if you're within a half inch of being right)—touch him any way you like (10 points for that!), but no peeking or removing any clothing allowed.

Game #4: "Strip him down" (5 points)

In this game, ask the stripper to remove his clothing, one piece at a time, in any order you choose, until all he has left is his underwear.

Game #5 -- The Unveiling (5 points)

Yes, we agree that the ice has been broken, and we’re as anxious as you to get rid of that pesky underwear. Yet we sat here thinking – what’s the funniest way possible to do this? Well, first, the stripper should turn his back to you and cast off his undergarment. He should then put his hands behind his head like a fugitive getting handcuffed.

Let us just say that even as we write this we’re laughing at the thought of our friend standing before you. In fact, flex your butt three times. We’ll wait.

Now approach him and say “flex for me.” Once your stripper has flexed his butt please give it a pinch, a slap and a squeeze -- after all, he's no better than your property at this point.

Now if you don’t mind – your back still to the ladies - please picture Meg Ryan, Haley Berry and Wynona Rider standing naked before you. Got that mental image? Okay, now slowly turn around, hands still behind your head… AND YOU’RE NAKED! Was it worth the wait?

A quick toast: naked bet loser, raise your right hand and repeat after me:

I, your bet loser

Do solemnly swear

To perform my party game duties

No matter how inadequate my penis

Allowing this beautiful lady

To objectify my body as she wishes

Whether she chooses to laugh at my package

To play my ass like bongo drums

Or to tug on my penis just because she can

In short her wish is my command.


Game #6 -- "Arts and Crafts"

Okay, it's time to put the blindfold back on.


Before you were blindfolded we hope you paid close attention to your stripper's package, because this game is all about how well you can sculpt a replica of his cock and balls (use any material on hand -- clay, play doh, wet paper towel if you must). Take 5 minutes to play Rodin, relying on your memory if you wish.

But if you need some guidance simply raise your hand and your stripper will approach -- no peeking, but you can dare to compare, seeing with your hands as Michaelangelo did (15 points for that). Please send him home with the sculpture, drawing, or diorama -- it's going to be our souvenir, and the one with the greatest likeness earns 30 points).

Game #7 – Let the Embarrassment Begin!

Okay, now that we’ve got him naked let’s silently judge him – it’s human nature!

Bet loser, we’ve gone easy on you so far. It’s now time to start embarrassing you. The following actions will be read one at a time. Please complete each one before the next is read.

1) Christmas is our favorite season, so please lift up your penis and jingle your balls for us.

2) Ask a lady volunteer to hold up her hand vertically. As she waves it back and forth shake your penis from side to side, faster when she goes faster, slower when she go slower.

3) Show how far you can stretch your scrotum.

4) Do 5 jumping jacks.

5) This one is courtesy of your ex-girlfriend. You didn’t think we’d do this without research, did you? Show her your stupid human trick 3 times.

Okay, now its time to let you in on the fun. We’ve come up with several indignities that can be done.

-- Pinch his nipples. (3 points)

-- Squeeze his pecs together like he has boobs. (5 points)

-- As he lays face down play his butt like a bongo drum. (15 points)

Game #8 -- Sticker game # 2. (100 points)

Same game as before, but this time the stripper is to hide 15 stickers on his body, placing them on the parts we've instructed him on beforehand. If you find them all without any help, and without taking off your blindfold, you get 100 points.)

Game # 9 -- Childhood throwback, sorta
(100 points)

This game is a variation on pin the tail on the donkey. Be blindfolded holding a condom while the naked stripper stands across the room. How quickly can you find him and pin on the condom? Don't get any ideas, bet loser -- when she's done take it off, throw it away and proceed immediately with game #9.

Game #9 -- “On a Tight Leash” (50 points)

Okay, a string must first be tied to the stripper's penis. Have fun leading the naked bet loser around on his “leash”!

Game#10 -- "Competition Time"

As you've heard by now, your naked bet loser must go through this indignity three times before he has paid off his debt. And we're offering a $50 prize to whatever woman earns the most points.

This is your last chance to earn points -- good luck!

Pinch the stripper's nipples: 5 points

Squeeze the stripper's ass: 25 points

Tickle the stripper's balls: 45 points

Grab the stripper's package: 55 points

French kiss the stripper while grabbing his package: 100 points

Melt a whole ice cube on the stripper's body until it's gone: 100 points

Ask the stripper to demonstrate for you to completion how a man masturbates: 500 points

End Notes

This is the last portion of the evening.

Since you've been such a good sport, we figure that if you'd like one the stripper should give you a free massage -- order him to do so, unless you're not interested, in which case, read on!

Okay, back and relaxed?

We hope you’ve enjoyed our games.

Of course, your party shouldn’t be over—feel free to create more games, or just to sit around having fun with your naked stripper. The terms of the bet dictate that he is yours for up to 3 naked hours if you want him.

And no sympathy either—he may dress only immediately before departing the scene.

Now it’s time that we bid you farewell—forgive us, we are a bit teary eyed, for even in this short time together we’ve grown so fond of you. Do continue embarrassing your naked stripper for us—we can think of ever so many more games you might play.

If we had a naked bet loser for the night we’d insist on a naked reading of a bed time story as we drifted off to sleep.

Finally, goodnight naked stripper. You’re one step closer to paying off your debt.